Who are you? What is this? How dare you?
Hi. I’m Hallie Haglund, a writer and comedian, and even trying to describe the intent of newsletter is filling me with crippling self-doubt. And guess what? That’s the point of the newsletter!! I’ve spent so much of my life wondering how people dare. How dare they have strong opinions? How dare they write something and expect others to read it? How dare they wear crop tops? Existing terrifies me! Letting people know I exist terrifies me even more! But whenever I work up the courage to share this with someone, they’re like ‘duh, we all feel that way. We just get over it.’ Well, don’t I feel like a fucking idiot?!
But I don’t want you to feel like one. So to spare you, dear reader, the agony of wondering why everyone seems to be navigating the world better than you, I have created this newsletter, to show you that I, at the very least, am definitely not. By sharing a weekly anecdote about something I’m currently taking way too personally, this newsletter is meant to entertain, console, commiserate, and maybe pull back the curtain on some of the bullshit we feed each other to pass as thriving members of society.
tl;dr I’m nobody, who are you? Are you nobody too?
Has anything in your past made you remotely qualified to write this?
I’m a three time Emmy winning television writer. I’ve written for shows like The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, Wyatt Cenac’s Problem Areas, The G-Word with Adam Conover, and Mystery Science Theater 3000. I’ve been published in places like McSweeneys, The Hairpin, OC Weekly, and Maxim Magazine. I am a frequent guest host on The Flop House podcast. And none of it has made me feel worthy of love!
How often can I expect your feelings to hurt?
Every waking moment! Life is pain! Even the good stuff is all mixed up with the bad stuff in a way that sometimes makes the two impossible to distinguish! But you can expect a new installment of this newsletter once a week, every Thursday. And because everything is already hard enough, subscribe below and it will be sent directly to your email, its pixels still wet with my tears.
You expect me to invite you into my inbox? I don’t even know you. How can I trust you?
Trust is earned, I know, I know! But if you enjoy newsletters like How Not To F*ck Up Your Face, The Unpublishable, 5AM StoryTalk, The Department of Salad, The Real Sarah Miller, In Pursuit of Clean Countertops, and Bright Spots, then at least you know we have the same good taste, and maybe, just maybe you’ll give me a shot.
Sincerely, humbly, hopefully-yet-bracing-myself-for-the-worst-ingly,
Hallie
